That Mother's Day weekend, I let it all out... I cried and angrily told God how mad I was that He could have healed Ava, but He didn't. He could have saved her, but He didn't. He didn't answer my prayers...
or so I thought...
It was there, on the beach in front of Haystack Rock, that He gently reminded me that He had answered my prayers, just not in the way I had planned or wanted.
I had prayed for a daughter and He had given me one to live inside me for 18 weeks. I held her in my womb every second of her life.
As I reflected on that, I felt Him speak to me - "You will get pregnant again and you will have a son."
I shook my head dismissively and didn't think much of it until June 9th. I was a few days late and decided to take a pregnancy test. To my surprise, the pregnancy test was positive!
Life was and has been a roller coaster of emotions from that moment as I have been processing the fact that I have a new life growing inside me and that Ava is a Big Sister in heaven.
|Our 6 week appointment showed a heartbeat and a tiny life beginning to take form.|
"Our family is excited to announce that we are expecting a 'Rainbow' Baby, due February 2015. A Rainbow Baby is a child conceived after the death of a previous child. The term refers to the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravage of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath of the previous child's death. It is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds as a sign of hope and joy for the future."